Thursday, February 17, 2011

Joseph Evens: Freedom Fighter (If He's Real)!

Update: He's apparently not. Yeah, either's that whiny shit is somehow supposed to be "comedy" because they're fucking sociopaths who are amused by cheap imitations of actual human emotions or, as I keep saying like I'm goddamn Rainman, ED is full of unfunny hypocrites. Don't know, don't care. Kill 'em all and you'll remove the problem eventually.

Not to stretch out an already too long and too serious (for a place called "Children Need Orgasms", anyway) entry, but Encyclopedia Dramatica owner Joseph Evens is apparently a jackass who is, ironically, a source of silly melodramatic nonsense (which you need to register to comment on, because Li'l Joey is such a firm supporter of freedom of speech and information)! Thank you, lord!

First, there was this thing that Li'l Joey said that I was just gonna leave in the comments section:

"While I act in complete compliance with both the civil and criminal codes of the United States of America, and am assured the right of free speech according to our Constitution..."

THE BILL OF RIGHTS! It's the Bill of Rights that grants you your precious freedom of speech that you love to abuse and deny to anyone who talks back, you dumb fuck. I know, I had to memorize the entire goddamn thing in in the 8th grade, if I remember right.

...But yeah, that's just nit-picking. No big deal, not worth writing another post about. Not when he gives us this:

"Welcome to the one world government, folks. Is this what you wanted? Is this what you had in mind? Cause this is what you’re gettin’."

What the fuck did he just say?! What...what...wait, maybe I'm talking this out of context...

"So here’s the deal. This is an initial investigation into charging me, personally, with the violation of Australia’s Racial Discrimination Act. While I act in complete compliance with both the civil and criminal codes of the United States of America, and am assured the right of free speech according to our Constitution (which, if not the greatest political document in the entire history of law, is certainly on the top five) I can personally be jailed and fined for the violation of this law. Check out the court precedent they cite, Dow Jones & Co Inc v Gutnick, where a United States paper had to pay 580k for publishing an article about a globalized company headquartered in Australia and its CEO whilst completely in compliance with United States civil precedence. This isn’t a far-fetched legal theory, they have used it before. Welcome to the one world government, folks. Is this what you wanted? Is this what you had in mind? Cause this is what you’re gettin’."

"I can't throw around the word 'nigger' like it's going out of style and generally be a complete dickhead! ONE WORLD GOVERNMENT! IT'S LIKE 1984, MAN!"

Jesus Christ, Li'l Joey, calm your shit down. Next thing you know, our bridge-dwelling friend here is gonna say we should all switch to World of Warcraft currency because precious metals aren't worth whatever we say they are or anything.

"The house of cards is about to come down, and they’re making sure your mouths are taped shut first. Don’t say I didn’t warn you."

Whoa, whoa! Calm down there, Glenn Beck Joseph Evens! Easy now! Don't get...what's it call...ass anguish? Rump suffering? (Which is totally not real or anything when you do it!)

Jesus, what a loon. What's next, he's gonna claim he has family in-

"My counsel has advised me that I can never under any circumstances visit my family in Sydney again, nor otherwise make any appearances on Australian soil. Here’s to the hidden cost of freedom."

...This shit cannot possibly be real. I mean, if it was, then the fucking owner of Encyclopedia Dramatica is as much a whiny weirdo little bitch as everyone they make fun of!

"Joseph Evers is a fictional character created to deflect attention from the principals behind Encyclopedia Dramatica (ED). The true owners of ED are the members of Edrama LLC, and are likely to consist solely of Andrew John Thornton and Sherrod Ellen DeGrippo, seen above."

...Okay, fuck it. This shit's getting too "Metal Gear Solid 2" for me. But hey, wouldn't that be some delicious hypocrisy? They post other people's personal information, yet they hide behind an entirely fictional persona 'cus trolling isn't that funny when you're on the receiving end. That, or the administrator is just as much a drama bitch as everyone they make fun of. Either way, LAWLERBALLERZ!

Stay classy, ya fuckin' scumbags!

Update: OH GEE, WHAT IS THIS:!5741193/the-drama-with-encyclopedia-dramatica

"We began hearing rumors that the site was being shut down for good by its founder, twenty-something Sherrod DeGrippo"

Ya don't say. add to the list of complete bullshit, they might have stolen some guy's photo to have a scapegoat to hide behind. And that whole thing I commented on is complete bullshit they thought was funny, and not eye-rolling, groan-inducing nonsense. Jesus, are you kidding me? Do you people not have lives, or are you completely goddamn lying because, without all your precious profanity and hiding behind a computer miles away, you're nothing more than spineless punks?

Oh, and, uh...what else...

"Recently, administrators removed an article about Anonymous' pro-Wikileaks attacks on businesses after receiving a federal court order telling them to do so."

Now there's some goddamn lawlz! They pull all sorts of shit, but when the bigger dog tells them to do something, they back the fuck down with their tails between their legs. There's your so-called messiahs, internet! They're not rebelling against rampant political correctness. They're just losers who will potentially ruin lives for ruining their fun, will throw tantrums when they get kicked off sites for being denied their precious fucking swear words (irony intentional), will throw you under the bus to save their own asses, and most importantly, they are not, never have been, and never will be funny.

...Yeah. Put that on my page, kiddies.


1 comment:

  1. You know what I just realized, especially after seeing some kid throw a tantrum over maybe just one person rightfully offended by the little kid zombie in the new Dead Island trailer (which, by the way, was AWESOME)? Encyclopedia Dramatica, 4Chan-wannabes, all their ilk, they're like THE PRANKSTER! They're all stupid assholes with no friends, their family hates them, etc., etc., dog fart car, etc., etc. breast cancer, etc., etc., FLAT-OUT OBNOXIOUS AND NOT FUNNY, and etc.

    God, I wish Fisherman Eddie didn't purge ED from TV Tropes. I'd love to post those reviews, then post ED's whining right under them as a rebuttal.