Monday, April 25, 2011


That's a real site. A real dating site. For black people. Only black people.



Sunday, April 17, 2011


Okay, I'll admit it. I'm getting addicted to the dramastorm with the same site so many nerds and crybabies have tried to take down for years getting taken down by it's own mother smothering it with a pillow. But did you know not only are they totally ripping off Know Your Meme, but they probably stole their name from some dude on Tumblr?

Well, since he takes questions, let's ask the one question burning on all our minds:

"Does this site REALLY have nothing to do with Sherrod DeGrippo sellout out Encyclopedia Dramatica, or are you- in fact- part of an OBAMA GAMBIT?!

This was all part of a plan to turn ED into The Unofficial Know Your Meme Mirror that was planned years in advance, like the conspiracy to get Obama into office! IT ALL MAKES PERFECT SENSE WHEN YOU DON'T THINK ABOUT IT, MAN!"


Magitechno Strikeforce No More Sex: Sneak Peek

From the mind of one of my many, many alter egos (which I guess means just from me) comes high functioning autistic anime:

Yes, I pretend to be many, many girls on the internet. It amuses me and is hot.


Saturday, April 16, 2011


A cool song, and a warning.


The Son of Earpennies McDogfartcar

Okay, finally, I'm out of things to gripe about, so back to silly nonsense! Hey, let's write a fanfic about all the fat characters from Disney movies and cartoons fucking each other! That's much more in the spirit of what this blog should be about! But first, let's take a look at the com- SON OF A BITCH!

We've been through this already. You're harassing a nobody on a blog no one's ever heard of, and you're devoting too much time to it. I mean, my God, how obsessed do you have to be with this trivial piece of crap I've created to make this much of a nuisance out of yourself? Seriously?

You know what? No. You, my new minor annoyance, are no Earpennies McDogfartcar. You're just some loser in his late teens-early 20s who doesn't have a life, so he has ample time to obsess of this little nothing place. Earpennies McDogfartcar was an obnoxious loser, but he was an obnoxious loser who was also a complete freakin' weirdo. See, lemme tell you about Earpennies McDogfartcar: He was a stupid asshole with no friends, his family hated him, Mrs. Buttersworth was his imaginary wife, he lived in a dumpster, he ate garbage, he slept in a bed of his own feces, he drove a pretend car made of dog farts, he sucked his own dick, he died of breast cancer, and they threw his dead body into the sewer. He was a walking abortion who always had pennies in his goddamn ears and peace came to the Middle East when he died. And he was a better man than you.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic
Pictured: Someone who's better than you.

You're nothing, kid. A nobody. You''re...THE SON OF EARPENNIES MCDOGFARTCAR!

Oh, and by the way, I'm just gonna delete your shit without warning now. Not everyone gets sympathy, sport.


Friday, April 15, 2011

Encyclopedia Dramatica is Dead Now: After of the Lulz Died (Part 2)

Y'know, I gotta wonder, what are other people saying about this? People nowadays are such goddamn sheep that they're probably all mindlessly flocking over there and eating from OhInternet's slop trow, right?

"The result of your "fixes" made a funny website into a Web 2.0 abortion. Fuck you and fuck Sherrod and her sellout whore ass."

"I assure you I will try and help support OhInternet.. but really just see just where your traffic is going to go with this new format.
Prediction: No where but down.
Except for idiots like me who think they owe some sort of "fealty".
To what, some may ask.."

"Exactly what I'm thinking. Encyclopedia dramatica, 4chan, anonymous, and everything else dealing with the internet hate machine as a whole were founded on the basis of NO INTERNET CENSORSHIP. Now Sherrod's talking about making this into some new "toned-down" fucking piece of shit website, which is the entire goddamn opposite of what it was supposed to be from the beginning? I don't know about everyone else, but I think Sherrod is a 100% pure grade A selllout worthless sack of horse shit, and should be treated as such."

"1st. It will be back. In one form or another.
2nd. Theres no need to replace ed with ohintenret. Both can live together aimed to different publics.
3rd. Fuck you!
4th. Its just a marketing thing. They make people talk about it. Then ED is back, and OHI had publicity."

"OhInternet is going to die on it's arse mate. You're going up against the already established Know Your Meme (with a very popular web show) in the realm of SFW meme-whoring. You think that everyone will flock to your site because you're the team behind ED? Think again, you'll only ever be seen as the guys who caved under pressure and deleted their site, replacing it with a sanitized safe-for-work pile of garbage."

"are you serious?? You "fixed" EXACTLY what was right with site!! What you have left behind is boring, uninteresting, re-hashed, tired and quite honestly pathetic... bad move"

"Congrats, you resurrected as a toothless pc bastard that is doomed to epic failure. Hope u enjoy it u bovine pig-snouted bitch!"

"æ was our history books. If you don't want to host it anymore, give us a copy for historical reference. Make a goddamn torrent, do something before you start this SFW bullshit site..."

"I worked writing those ED articles for years. As did many other Anons. They are the product of our collective work. They took them down and refused to release the archives (of our work). So we started gathering cached back ups these will be posted on a new-ed at some point. Sherrod threatened to sue if we do. But I dont think we give a shit."

"Wow, OhInternet is truly horrible. They've taken all the joy of memes and sucked the funny out of it so hard. It's what the internet would be if Disney were running it. I figured maybe it was just a tamed down version of ED but I can't even find a fuck to give a fuck about."

"The new website is awful: The articles lack any informtation, substance or comedy whatsoever and the desire to make it safe for work completely destroys any entertainment value.

The old one was offensive, yes; but the authors' completely "I don't care who I offend" take on everything was part of the reason it was funny. I spent countless hours reading through random articles just for some laughs or entertainment.

This new "ohinternet" is going to be a complete failure. I say good riddance when it falls."

"When I heard about this, I figured "okay, no big deal. ED without porn and gore.

Then I went to the website and... christ it's terrible. The articles are completely flavorless. They're little fact blurbs. Where did the humor go?"

"The only thing ED stood for is censorship in the other direction. I say good fucking riddance."

"it's like i'm really reading a dumbed down uncyclopedia!

I hope the past users recreate ED again. Good luck to you on doing so, hey guise. I salute you."

"You know it's funny to see all these people saying how the people who visited ED are those who have no life or simply are immature. What are you? An 80's sitcom? The world isn't so black and white anymore, which makes me think that maybe it is those who are saying this that truly haven't gone out from their basement since the Reagan years. Yes, while it's true that a HUGE majority are losers, a lot of us are just as outgoing as any douchebag you see with his ironic t-shirt and sideways cap. We came to ED because the internet is full of shitty attempts at humor. Many people enjoy the homophobic, racist attitude that the ED articles used to have. Sure I could have done without the nudes [which are 90% penises], but the lulz we had were of an epic nature. There really was no reason to delete the database and replace it with an uncyclopedia clone [only less funny if that was possible]. I'm not saying the creators are sell-outs, but you DID just went to the safe-work route and went against the "for the lulz" you so proudly had as the motto. I'm hoping somebody WILL come up with a new ED as sometimes, after a horrible day in college/work, all you really need is a healthy dose of seeing a fat person being called a whale. Thank you ED for the wonderful memories, but I will not be sticking around OhInternet. Enjoy your new fanbase of christian 9 year olds, because I'm literally Getting The Fuck Out."

And probably my favorite one of the lot:

"The comments from the former ED owners / current OHINTERNET overlords seem incredibly self serving and hypocritical. The OhI admins are already on record as saying they don't WANT former ED users on their new site. That's a wonderful way to build up user base... purposefully alienate the people who made your site popular. There's no reason in the world why they couldn't have given control of ED over to sysops who still wanted to keep it running and and still launch their new site, complete with the ED domain redirect, to keep their traffic up. Doing it this way seems just purposely spiteful. To say the your new site is there to document internet culture when you yourselves just erased seven years of that very culture... not cool.

Sure, ED was 90% crap. But 90% of Wikipedia is crap, too. Sturgeon's Law applies in all cases. If Jimbo decided tomorrow to blank Wikipedia and redirect to a new site, the response from the Internet would be nothing short of cataclysmic.

As has been noted, there are already SFW places for people to learn internet culture. There is no other ED (well, yet... I suspect a fork will be running soon). No one was forced to visit ED. The shocking content was not foisted on people unwillingly. Lots of people hated it, but lots of people liked it. No matter how the powers that be frame it, its an underhanded move. Having the right to to something does not make it right.

Son, I am very dissapoint."

Update: For all you people saying Oh Internet is just a cheap knock-off of Know Your, sir, are ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. Now that the site's situated a bit, I decided to take a bit more of a gander at it, and yes, it's basically a such cheap carbon copy of Know Your Meme that it borders on plagerism. If you want to know about memes, got to Know Your Meme. If you want the biggest troll target since Chris-chan and Conservapedia, go to Oh Internet.

Oh, by the way, their TV Tropes page? The thing that started this big, long mess? It sucks and is completely pointless. Fisherman Eddie would be proud.

In case you're a blithering idiot who can't be bothered to do some basic background checking, I fucking hated Encyclopedia Dramatica. It, as Oscar Wilde would put it, sucked. It was unfunny and lame, and I've called them (or, in hindsight, maybe just Sherrod DeGrippo) out on shit that they went too far with. I cannot make it any more clear that I am not a friend of Encyclopedia Dramatica or anyone who likes it.

But you see, there's this crazy thing called "character". When I learned about OhInternet and its homogenization of ED, I didn't see it as a victory. I was, ironically, offended. And I was shocked to learn that despite all the weird, illegal things I would have done if I did them (which I didn't, forensics proves that), I actually have some character. I'm actually offended out of principle.

...My's ingenius. That's what they were going for, weren't they?! The next generation of shock sites! Offend people not with gross pictures or slurs, but with unprincipled behavior! Instead of goatse pictures, there will now be pictures of blatant advertising in movies and games! Instead of making fun some fat kid from DeviantArt, they'll make fun of sites that don't let you comment through a Facebook account! It offends me, but in an exciting new way!



Encyclopedia Dramatica is Dead Now: After of the Lulz Died (Part 1)

DeGrippo says that the biggest difference between OhInternet and Dramatica is that the new site has moved towards “a more toned down content style and a streamlined design: Shock for shock’s sake is old at this point and we’re looking forward to the future and how things are evolving … when you put user experience first, the language becomes highly important and that’s what we’ve done.”

...Wow. I still can't believe Encyclopedia Dramtica was taken itself. That's like Al Capone walking into the IRS headquarters and admitting he had been evading taxes because he got sick of being a mobster. Anyway, just to completely get this out of my system, let's see what former Special ED-ers have to say about this:

"Just wanted to say how excited I am and how awesome this is. We're working hard for the good of the internet, wrenching it away from the hands of the traitorous and rending it back into chaos and lulz, for the good of the tubes. Thank you for your fealty."
-Sherrod DeGrippo, (former) ED owner and an egotistical, greedy bitch HERO OF THE INTERNET!

"Granted the strikethroughs, unfunny meme speak etc are rampant in ED articles, they could easily be cleaned up."
-Some guy who clearly didn't realize that ED was made entirely of that shit

Somehow, within the depths of my heart, I knew this would happen. Things were getting too much out of control. ED was basically an anarchic wiki, and was going to explode. In all honesty I do better with SFW then NSFW.
-Some guy who obviously missed the entire fucking point of why Encyclopedia Dramatica existed

I felt like I had so much freedom at the old ED; now I feel like I'm on a G rated website. NO excessive cussing, NO nudity, NO racism, NO cuss words in your username...ect I feel like my freedoms have been taken away..... >:O FREEEEEEEEDOOOOM!!! Can we please bring back some of the old freedoms?
-A real ED user

I don't mean to be a prick, but shut up.
-Mr. Krabs, who, like all crabs, doesn't know what "irony" is

"I bet it was your kind that ultimately led to its closing. Now stop being a talk page editor and adapt like the rest of us to help with our new home."
-Mr. Krabs continued, also clearly had no goddamn clue that Encyclopedia Dramatica was all about (read: trashy shock value and personal feuds Wikipedia didn't put up with)

"So let me understand this completely. You're going to superimpose a new website where ED was, and expect all the old followers of ED to just deal with it? That's ridiculous. I'll say that I'm not a little thirteen year old immature editor, but I love that ED was that place that you could go to hear irrational comments about rational subjects and biased viewpoints blaming incomprehensible subjects. You've destroyed the internets. I understand you thought it may be a good idea to standardize and become something more respectful, but you've legitimately lost readers now. Bring back ED, before the internets do it for you."
-An obvious troll

"It's a poor move on the admin's part to just remove ED. It contained a ton of culture and history on it. That's like removing Wikipedia in favor of a brand new site with no content imported. If there was any sense in the matter, ED would at least become read-only on Kicking people out of a community they enjoyed is NOT a way to get any kind of readership. And you know, I've given "Oh, Internet..." a chance. I edited some pages with some funny, yet appropriate content and it was reverted. You've completely changed the concept of the website, and forced users out without any options. I just hope you guys can deal with the "encyclopedic drama" that you've (collective) created with this move."
-Obvious troll obviously continued

"What is this shitty copy of Know your Meme"
-The undeniably truth

And then there was much circlejerking.

My fucking God. This is shameful. This is like (Wait for it!) Hitler suddenly surrending during World War II, apologizing to the Jews, and banning all swastikas. It is a complete betrayl of who Hitler was and what the Nazis were. There is less evil in the world now, but it is not right. The cosmos is not in balance! Snake Mountain lies still! No one wears the crown of the Lich King! This cannot and should not be!

God help me...I'm remaking Encyclopedia Dramatica. The internet must not be sterilized. It must be honest, as hideously disgusting as that honesty is. It must not be ashamed, as much as it has to be ashamed of.

Edit: There was a link to my own shameful attempt to restore evil to the Great Balance, but stupid-ass me, why did I think people who actually liked the damned place wouldn't reconstruct it? Go here instead:

If you find my ED mirror (Son of Encyclopedia Dramatica), I think the admin password was "neverwillguess", or something similar. Leave nothing but dust and ashes.


Thursday, April 14, 2011


Guess what happens when you try to go to ED, as of today? Here:

HOLY FUCKING SHIT, DEGRIPPO SOLD YOU ALL OUT! Encyclopedia Dramatica is dead, and all links to it now redirect you to this generic webcrap site that's a shadow of ED's former self! DeGrippo sold out every goddamn troll on the internet!

...I...I'm honestly conflicted. This is like when I first heard about Dragonball Evolution. I wanted to win...but not like this. This isn't right. God help me, this just isn't right. Not at all!

It goes against my own interests to not laugh hysterically over the most offensive shithole on the internet getting retooled into a non-threatening, corporate money-whoring piece of crap, but I honestly do feel bad for each and every one of you stupid, obnoxious punks that hung out there. Dare I actually say that...maybe I have standards, even when it comes to the things I hate? That no one and nothing, no matter how much I despise them, should fall because of betrayl? I tell myself otherwise, but...damn it all, there are just certain things that- THE FUCK IS THIS?!

It's hard writing with a mouse...


Of all the self-righteous bullshit...

So...lemme get this straight: Encyclopedia Dramatica was founded because Wikipedia wouldn't let some assholes abuse it just so they could piss and moan about people they hate? (No points for irony, folks. This is just a little nothing blog.)

Well, thanks a lot, DeGrippo, you arrogant, self-important bag of cunts. I was feeling genuine sympathy for my hated enemies, and you go and ruin the mood by pretending that Encyclopedia Dramatica was anything other than a bunch of kids trying to one-up South Park and being pots bashing kettles for being black. Good job.

Trolls, orcs, goblinoids of all kinds, you have my sympathies.


Enyclopedia Dramatica: The Blog That's Nothing Like Encyclopedia Dramatica At All

I, ladies and gentlemen, am a jackass who can't let anything go. Noticing Fast Stalin swept the "Locked Pages" link under the rug (by the way, if anyone doubts Fisherman Eddie's batshit insane dictatorship, click here for a bussle full of truths) I wondered if Encyclopedia Dramatica had any new dirt on the place. Sure, I utterly loathe ED, but I'm not above using the things I hate to my advantage. I like to think of it as being pragmatic, because the word sounds all fancy and smart. Anyway, I got this:

Now, this was just after I noticed people were actually reading my blog, so I leapt to the most logical conclusion: ED banned access from me, just as Fast Eddie would, just because of this blog. But I'm just being paranoid, of course. I mean, that would be incredibly immature and pathetic and IT'S TOTALLY A POSSIBLITY, ISN'T IT? (Edit: As it turns out, this was legit and I'm a silly little man living in a silly little world.)

Anyway, let's take a look at that blog they mentioned. Hoo boy! Probably gonna all "niggerfag" this and "goatse suicide" that! Y'know, shit that's still edgy after many, many years! Oh man, this is gonna blow my mind the first time I see, then quickly get tired and unfunny when you realize there's not much beyond the cheap shock value! (Yeah, don't say anything, you.)

...What the hell is this?

Yeah, this blog? It's just Sherrod DeGrippo pimping her generic internet crap aimed at the equally generic 18-34 year old demographic. Who wants to bet "Videos" are just some crap they found on YouTube?

Goddamnit, I was joking!

Let's see..."Images" is about...anything with an image, "Links" articles on the site...I..."Research" know what? I'm just gonna say it's a shotgun blast of random junk, currently topped off by- HAHAHAHAHA, what the fuck is this? In writing that much about internet culture, aren't you taking it a little seriously? And then there's that whole "don't take things seriously" business so seriously, and then- Hold up, did they rip off Cracked's Top Number list gimmick?! Sheesh...anyway, the rest is just links to the same articles, which really makes me wonder why there are even different sections in the first place.

Good lord. I was just being pessimistic when I called this a generic internet crap site, but geez, man.

This is what it looks like when you put the glasses on.

And now I'm sad and bored at the same time.

Edit: Look up "Encyclopedia Dramatica" now, click on any link, see where it takes you. With all the bad blood between me and them, I think I should address this in its own entry.



Remember that last post I made about Encyclopedia Dramatica because it's not like I have family and friends to bitch about this stuff to, like a normal person? Well, one month later:

"No one reads your blog. No one cares. Stop posting.

Love, mom.

P.S. put those empty soda cans in the recycle bin, they're piling up by your computer."


You're reading my blog, you're bitching and moaning over a month old post, you lose.

(Edit: What's that? A comment whining about my whining? Goodness, whoever could that be from?
See, the thing is practically no one knows of my existence, let alone the existence of this blog. Now, you tell me, who else could it possibly be than the very same jackass who's now getting all high and mighty with me just to appear to be the bigger person? You can't win in a battle of logic with me, sport, so quit while you're ahead.)

By the way, protip: I've never responded well to people telling me what to do, especially not whiny little bitches who's best retort is to give orders to a total stranger. Hence this entry!

But hey, don't let me stop you from making an even bigger ass out of yourself in front of all the one or two people who stumbled across this place while looking for child pornography. (Edit again: As you're clearly doing, I see. You know, you could just walk away and go read a book or something.)


P.S.- Encyclopedia Dramatica now has a blog...that's nothing at all like Encyclopedia Dramatica and about random internet crap. Guess what I'm going to waste precious time and effort on now?

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

The Most Egotistical Motherfucker IN THE WORLD

I'm sorry, but...Jesus fucking Christ:

"NOTE: You need to read this if you want to comment on my mod! If you don't pay attention and go by what I am saying, you won't be happy. I DO NOT tolerate any harsh criticism AT ALL. If you've got something mean to say, either keep it to yourself or alter the words to make it nice and include a smiley face or something... My previous experience of having people ridicule my mod was unpleasant and if it happens again, you won't have a happy life on the Nexus... I can guarantee...

That's not saying everyone will hate this mod, some people will like it. I'm giving a friendly warning to people who want to say stuff about this mod's improvement.

Instead of, "Hey, your mod sucks. I hate it because it adds +1/-1 to your S.P.E.C.I.A.L and barely anything else. Screw you!"

Write this, "Hey, your mod isn't as good as I thought it would be, sorry to say. I found it repetitive with the +1/-1 S.P.E.C.I.A.L. I would love to see something that makes it alter other stuff, like accuracy and DT. :)"

You have been warned."

Wow. Just wow. I can't say anything because the mods there, like fucking everywhere nowadays, will ban you if you dare not where a shit-eating grin all the time and dare bruise someone's poor ego, but still...Jesus, look at that shit! He throws a fucking tantrum, and then he pretends he's some sort of badass who's all connected and shit.

Oh, and he's (supposedly) a 29 year old dude who named his (equally supposed) production company "Shadow Ninja Productions" or something else a fucking thirteen year old boy would come up with.



Thursday, April 7, 2011

Satanic Gay Caveman: A Lightning Rod For Dumbasses

...Well, after looking at this picture, that seemed like the logical title:

By the way, you can tell it's a gay (or, they seriously said this, transgender) caveman because he was buried with girl caveman shit. That's seriously their theory. No, The Onion had nothing to do with this. Some asshole took a look this caveman buried with stuff usually found buried with cavewomen, and they seriously just went "Must be gay or transgender! After all, all gay guys are basically women and there was totally such a thing as crossdressing in caveman days! DERPITY DOO!".

Oh lord, you do not seriously want to see what people are saying about this...oh, yes, you do:

"I totally thought this was an Onion article and wasn't even going to read it..."

As did we all.

"archeology, the most unscientific science"

Oh snap! This must be from that guy who made XKCD, WHO'S TOTALLY FUCKING RACIST!

"Science: closing minds permanently since 1864."

...What? 1864? Was that when science was invented? Was everything leading up it magic before?

"Yes, now stop using your computer as it obviously does not work. In reality you are staring into the abyss with your eyes wide open, your fingers are moving around aimlessly on a cloud minute water droplets. Nothing is real, it is all in your mind."

Hey, a breath of fresh not stupid! Take it in, because now thing really get retarded.

"Don't you mean, "Science: Bitch-slapping religious Dogma since, like, FOREVER?"

And before you get religious-righty on us, just remember it was the Vatican who imprisoned Galileo and Copernicus for PROVING the earth was round, and NOT the center of the universe.

Granted, the Vatican did apologize for their actions... in f**king 1985."

Yeah, because the current human understanding of the world can explain everything always and for- Oh wait, scientists have just learned that eggs really are bad for you. Also, all religious people are conservative extremists and...the Vatican? What? Well, that can't possibly lead to a big rambling clusterfuck of nonsense by that same person who thinks science is closed minded (well, I guess it is if you're this idiot, apparently):

"Don't pitch anti-Vatican dogma at me as if I were obligated to defend it. The Bible said that the earth is round (Is 40:22). You could have been using technological advances to update your understanding of what a God *could* be. You could have used the benefit of the internet's power to connect to people and sources to the end of researching these words that ancient peoples believed were important enough to translate and copy by hand for centuries. You could have made sure your opinions were based on reliable and honest translations but popular atheism has, instead, established itself on the basis of the innumerable (and quite dated) lies and errors of the catholic church as if they had the theism market cornered.

That army of child molesters is the most corrupt, deceptive and least beneficial of any organization in the history of man (at least until the advent of the US MilitAry indusTRIal compleX). The only things they weren't wrong about were they things they willfully lied about. Don't come to me with what the Vatican said because to do thus relegates your position to the status of "straw man".

Finally, science is not the opposite of religion. By attempting to use bones and math to explain the origin of the universe and man's purpose therein, science has stepped into the context of religiosity and has thus become a religion. It's big selling point (and all religions have one) is that the adherent gets to also be the deity.

Your creation myth is more ridiculous than any other because you insist that the only possible explanation for *everything* is *nothing*. And, what's worse, you backed yourself into a corner attempting to "prove" it with a one-sided story that amounts to nothing more than wishful thinking. You're no better than any religious person--you're not even different. What you are is immoral, misguided and exceedingly dangerous to the planet and everything on it."

...Wait, what? And wait a minute, did he hide the word "MATRIX" in "industrial military complex"?

Okay, I'm walking away now.


Friday, April 1, 2011


I can't believe I'm saying this, but President Barack Obama has been assassinated:

APRIL FOOLS! HA HA HA! Aren't I a scamp?

By the way, I'll just leave this here:

I seriously came up with this idea before I found that article. I thought "Hey, what's the most horrible April Fools prank I could pull?", and, as if by divine lol-tervention, I found that.