The Superhero Sideshow: Make This Shit Yourself!

To celebrate being an Uncle Moneybags motherfucker and buying myself a lifetime subscription to Champions Online, I'm doing a series of entries in the precious moments I can pull myself away from the game about weirdo freaks in comics. This entry: Lee's (Useless) Super-Hero Generator, presented by Supreme Kl@w, the stinking hero who can explode at will!

Sadly, there's no Rob Liefeld Superhero Name Generator that I can find (which would combine violent nouns, violent verbs, and pouches). However, I came across something over 9,000 times better! Lemme just put this here and let you have fun:

http://home.hiwaay.net/~lkseitz/comics/herogen/

Let's take a look at some of the heroes I got:

Eonziz Krystal (Eonziz-Krystal, Eonzizkrystal, Krystal Eonziz, Krystal-Eonziz, Krystaleonziz)
Power(s): Insect control, Heat vision
Source of powers: Extra-terrestrial unknown
Weapon: Dark Bombs
Transportation: Manga Horse (Great name for a superhero, by the way.)

General Rhnige (General-Rhnige, Generalrhnige, Rhnige General, Rhnige-General, Rhnigegeneral)
Power(s): Enhanced senses
Source of powers: Extra-terrestrial meditation
Weapon: Terra Saxophone
Transportation: Sub-rainbow (Great idea for Champions Online, actually. Like Lightspeed or one of those Flight powers with special effects...but with a extra-dimensional rainbow.)

Admiral Odhs (Admiral-Odhs, Admiralodhs, Odhs Admiral, Odhs-Admiral, Odhsadmiral)
Power(s): Glows in the dark, Adhesion, Water control
Source of powers: Extra-terrestrial willpower
Weapon: Holy Gel
Transportation: Father Motorhome (Another great name for a superhero.)

Supreme Kl@w (Supreme-Kl@w, Supremekl@w, Kl@w Supreme, Kl@w-Supreme, Kl@wsupreme)
Power(s): Odor generation, Explodes, Energy blasts
Source of powers: Extra-terrestrial biotechnology
Weapon: Stellar Spitballs
Transportation: Ambush Ship

Mie Star (Mie-Star, Miestar, Star Mie, Star-Mie, Starmie)
Power(s): Mind-numbing beauty/ugliness, Image projection
Source of powers: Extra-terrestrial near-death experience
Weapon: Gas Bullets
Transportation: Beta Camel

S@rgewave (S@rge-wave)
Power(s): Mind control
Source of powers: Extra-terrestrial chemical
Weapon: Atomic Flail
Transportation: Lion Wheel

Bronze Fwokbgttl (Bronze-Fwokbgttl, Bronzefwokbgttl, Fwokbgttl Bronze, Fwokbgttl-Bronze, Fwokbgttlbronze)
Power(s): Magnetism, Telepathy
Source of powers: Extra-terrestrial meditation
Weapon: Magic Claws
Transportation: Golden Pogo Stick (Another good idea for a Champions Online travel power.)

Masked Marvel (Masked-Marvel, Maskedmarvel, Marvel Masked, Marvel-Masked, Marvelmasked)
Power(s): Super spelling, Bullet-proof, Gadget creation
Source of powers: Mystic
Weapon: Plasma Javelin
Transportation: Sky Rocket

Sir Flash (Sir-Flash, Sirflash, Flash Sir, Flash-Sir, Flashsir)
Power(s): Super-human hand-eye coordination
Source of powers: Solar
Weapon: Ice Blade
Transportation: Racoon Capsule

Bee Tornado (Bee-Tornado, Beetornado, Tornado Bee, Tornado-Bee, Tornadobee)
Power(s): Light generation/control, Enhanced agility
Source of powers: Lycanthropy
Weapon: Sonic Neutralizer
Transportation: Copper Shuttle

Flaming Bug (Flaming-Bug, Flamingbug, Bug Flaming, Bug-Flaming, Bugflaming)
Power(s): Earthquake generation
Source of powers: Vampirism
Weapon: Laser Armor
Transportation: Prince Ship

Megamouse (Mega-Mouse)
Power(s): Escape artist, Plant control
Source of powers: Supernatural
Weapon: Particle Analyzer
Transportation: Bronze Zebra

Here are the villians, who somehow got fucking awesome names:

Wild Weirdo
Power(s): Omniscience
Source of powers: Willpower
Weapon: Magnowrench
Transportation: Commander Sled
(Note: This guy turned out perfect.)

Nuclear Phantom
Power(s): Amphibious, Invulnerability
Source of powers: Technology
Weapon: Solar Doohickey
Transportation: Supreme Slide

Battle Dragon
Power(s): Extra-dimensional travel
Source of powers: Divine intervention
Weapon: Ether Belt
Transportation: Fightingwing

Crimson Hitman
Power(s): Precognition
Source of powers: Nanotechnology
Weapon: Cosmic Mortar
Transportation: Tomorrow Houseboat

Fly Warlock
Power(s): Super strength, Earth/rock control
Source of powers: Lycanthropy
Weapon: Magic Blunderbuss
Transportation: Mother Tube

Countess Fury
Power(s): Unaided outer space travel, Smoke generation/control, Time manipulation
Source of powers: Spinach
Weapon: Flame Blade
Transportation: Starcopter

Death Golem
Power(s): Pyrokinesis, Magic spell casting
Source of powers: Paranormal
Weapon: Lunar Discs
Transportation: Wing Zamboni

Super Hitman
Power(s): Electrical generation/control, Radiation generation/control, Plant control
Source of powers: Solar
Weapon: Particle Scimitar
Transportation: Jade Skateboard

Bored Avalanche
Power(s): Electromagnetism
Source of powers: Gadgets
Weapon: Nuclear Whip (ATOMIC FLAIL VS NUCLEAR WHIP!)
Transportation: Fly Sail

Rat Viking
Power(s): Time travel
Source of powers: Mythological god(ess)
Weapon: Silver Torpedos
Transportation: Flying Hydrofoil
(Note: WOW. You could easily create an entire story behind this guy!)

Winter Hillbilly (Winter-Hillbilly, Winterhillbilly, Hillbilly Winter, Hillbilly-Winter, Hillbillywinter)
Power(s): Plant control, Illusion casting (And no cryomancy/cryokinesis, oddly enough.)
Source of powers: Chemical
Weapon: Gravity Foam
Transportation: Insect Forklift

Ambush Wind (Ambush-Wind, Ambushwind, Wind Ambush, Wind-Ambush, Windambush)
Power(s): Luck, Empathy
Source of powers: Training
Weapon: Unobtainium Bullets
Transportation: Element Gateway

Robot King (Robot-King, Robotking, King Robot, King-Robot, Kingrobot)
Power(s): Cold generation, Omniscience, Extreme popularity
Source of powers: Cybernetics
Weapon: Magnojavelin
Transportation: Nuclear Seahorse

War Mistress (War-Mistress, Warmistress, Mistress War, Mistress-War, Mistresswar)
Power(s): Encyclopedic knowledge
Source of powers: Soul sold to Devil
Weapon: Slime Saber
Transportation: Screaming Cart

Thunder Djinn (Thunder-Djinn, Thunderdjinn, Djinn Thunder, Djinn-Thunder, Djinnthunder)
Power(s): Super strength, Omnidirectional sight, Radiation generation/control
Source of powers: Mutant
Weapon: Flaming Katana
Transportation: Doc Burro

Superhero teams:

New Foursome (giggle)
Power(s): Power mimicry, Body transformation
Source of powers: Psychic
Weapon(s): Web Pillow(s)
Transportation: Mighty Flight Ring(s)

X-society
Power(s): Hold breath indefinitely, Telekinesis, Odor generation
Source of powers: Solar
Weapon(s): Holy Wand(s)
Transportation: Captain Dinosaur(s)

Liberty Ten
Power(s): Super breath, Psychic
Source of powers: Training
Weapon(s): Mind Rod(s)
Transportation: Winged Stationwagon(s)

Justice Blasters
Power(s): Teleportation
Source of powers: Mystic
Weapon(s): Magic Nunchucks(s)
Transportation: Darecapsule(s)

Sovereign Two
Power(s): Intuition, Smoke generation/control
Source of powers: Mathematics
Weapon(s): Air Ionizer(s)
Transportation: Wonder Cow(s)

Zoo Sisterhood (If this didn't exist before, it will now. Though not as a superhero team.)
Power(s): Weapon mastery
Source of powers: Extra-dimensional
Weapon(s): Force Sling(s)
Transportation: Lion Van(s)

Beta Pachyderms
Power(s): Deus ex machina, Smoke generation/control, Water control
Source of powers: Mutant
Weapon(s): Hydroboomerang(s)
Transportation: Rocket SUV(s)

Liberty Pack
Power(s): Immortality
Source of powers: Meditation
Weapon(s): Holy Crossbow(s)
Transportation: Turbodroid(s)

Blackbelt Foursome
Power(s): Intangibility, Perfect pitch
Source of powers: Magic
Weapon(s): Gigarapier(s)
Transportation: Robot Nag(s)

Secret Two
Power(s): Poison resistance, Microscopic vision
Source of powers: Divine intervention
Weapon(s): Hyperflute(s)
Transportation: Suicide Juggernaut(s) (My thoughts on this one: :D!)

And finally, supervillian teams, which didn't quite succeed as well as the supervillian names:

Crime Trio (Trio Crime, Trio of Crime)
Power(s): Enhanced common sense
Source of powers: Chemical
Weapon(s): Turbo Revolver(s)
Transportation: Chameleon Bird(s)

Royal Vandals (Vandals Royal, Vandals of Royal)
Power(s): Direct computer interface, Empathy, Lycanthropy
Source of powers: Extra-dimensional
Weapon(s): Vibrorapier(s)
Transportation: Z-catapult(s)

Gorilla Manhunters (Manhunters Gorilla, Manhunters of Gorilla)
Power(s): Escape artist, Precognition, Radar sense
Source of powers: Mystic
Weapon(s): Sonic Venom(s)
Transportation: Y-wagon(s)

Wolf Tribe (Tribe Wolf, Tribe of Wolf)
Power(s): Photographic memory, Force blasts
Source of powers: Radiation
Weapon(s): Kinetic Javelin(s)
Transportation: Captain Car(s)

Mutant Four (Four Mutant, Four of Mutant)
Power(s): Shrinking
Source of powers: Near-death experience
Weapon(s): Electrohatchet(s)
Transportation: Hyperhouseboat(s)

Q-gang
Power(s): Light generation/control, Flame generation/control, Luck
Source of powers: Metahuman
Weapon(s): Anti-matter Lasso(s)
Transportation: Karate Rainbow(s)

Aristocratic Pack (Pack Aristocratic, Pack of Aristocratic)
Power(s): Matter consumption, Earth/rock control
Source of powers: Psychic
Weapon(s): Hydroscissors(s)
Transportation: Turbomoped(s)

Secret Men (Men Secret, Men of Secret)
Power(s): Plant control, Flight, Body transformation
Source of powers: Symbiosis
Weapon(s): Psi-katana(s)
Transportation: Mother Zip-line(s)

Delta Women (Women Delta, Women of Delta)
Power(s): Incomprehensibility, Martial arts mastery, Magnetism
Source of powers: Meditation
Weapon(s): Prototype Sceptre(s)
Transportation: Bullet Bike(s)

Imperial Two (Two Imperial, Two of Imperial)
Power(s): Enhanced common sense, Radiation generation/control, Extreme popularity
Source of powers: Mutant
Weapon(s): Web Whip(s)
Transportation: Armadillo Catamaran(s)

Alpha Squad (Squad Alpha, Squad of Alpha)
Power(s): Danger sense, Earth/rock control
Source of powers: Curse
Weapon(s): Hypermachine gun(s)
Transportation: Y-unicycle(s)

Mutant Sisterhood (Sisterhood Mutant, Sisterhood of Mutant)
Power(s): Enhanced common sense, Explodes
Source of powers: Raised by animals
Weapon(s): Lunar Bazooka(s)
Transportation: Speed Pony(s)

Wolftech (Wolf-tech)
Power(s): Animal control
Source of powers: Technology
Weapon(s): Gravizip gun(s)
Transportation: Black Bubble(s)

Secret Cronies (Cronies Secret, Cronies of Secret)
Power(s): Smoke generation/control
Source of powers: Genetic engineering
Weapon(s): Celestial Musket(s)
Transportation: Scarab Phone Booth(s)

Global Manhunters (Manhunters Global, Manhunters of Global)
Power(s): Force blasts
Source of powers: Electrocution
Weapon(s): Foam Pellets(s)
Transportation: Vibro Dinosaur(s)

And a few more heroes for the road:

Elasti-angel
Power(s): Hypnosis, Prehensile tail
Source of powers: Demonic mutant
Weapon: Ice Crossbow
Transportation: Detective Starship

Danger America (Danger-America, Dangeramerica, America Danger, America-Danger, Americadanger) (That would make a great name for a band!)
Power(s): Plant control
Source of powers: Mutant electrocution
Weapon: Foam Musket
Transportation: White Griffon

Brother Fire (Brother-Fire, Brotherfire, Fire Brother, Fire-Brother, Firebrother)
Power(s): Clairvoyance, Flight, Molecular control
Source of powers: Mutant super-goobers
Weapon: Vibranium Ionizer
Transportation: Space Ultralight

Albino Punisher (Albino-Punisher, Albinopunisher, Punisher Albino, Punisher-Albino, Punisheralbino)
Power(s): Deus ex machina, Elasticity
Source of powers: Mutant metahuman
Weapon: Thunder Hubcap
Transportation: Machine Burro

Frog Nimbus (Frog-Nimbus, Frognimbus, Nimbus Frog, Nimbus-Frog, Nimbusfrog)
Power(s): Super-human stamina
Source of powers: Mutant mathematics
Weapon: Dark Pencil (Which fits perfectly for a guy who got his powers from mutant mathematics. Good job!)
Transportation: Yak Catamaran

I love you, internet.

-Tabris