Tuesday, June 28, 2011

The A-Team Defeats LulzSec, Names Somehow Still Not Cleared

I guess I shouldn't be surprised to find out I'm not the only one who got a laugh when LulzSec lost their spines when one of their members was arrested and realized there is no real anonymity online disbanded after they were done exposing corporations and governments...somehow. You know surprised me, though? The goddamned A-Team fighting fire with fire!

Pictured: Real goddamn hackers

"'The Internet by definition is not anonymous,' the group said. 'Computers have to have attribution. If you trace something back far enough you can find its origins.'"

And then I assume they added "I love it when a plan comes together" while something blew up behind them.


Monday, June 13, 2011

My Thoughts on Lulz Sec

"We were going to keep this little treasure chest to ourselves, but it appears the hand has been bitten. Say your prayers, Brink users. >:]" "Big lulz coming up in the near future. Time to show these bitches how it's done. #Brink #Bethesda #ZeniMax"

Oh no! I'm mocking some kids who spend time learning computer shit just about anyone can learn nowadays! Now I'm gonna get my password guessed hacked! And that's totally impressive nowadays, because nothing has changed since the 1990s! I'm in so much trouble when they randomly stumble across this blog out of pure luck and give a rat's ass! Then I'll lose this blog I occasionally post on when I feel like and have nothing better to do forever!

Good thing I know how to close web browsers or there'd be no escape!

Update: LulzSec has disbanded...which means, one or two guys got bored or (much more likely) quit because one of the little punks got caught, and the rest abandoned him and quickly ran away like the pathetic losers that they are (which just amuses the living crap out of me):

"For the past 50 days we've been disrupting and exposing corporations, governments, often the general population itself, and quite possibly everything in between, just because we could. All to selflessly entertain others--vanity, fame, recognition, all of these things are shadowed by our desire for that which we all love."

I knew their reason was something stupid like this. Back in the 1990s, when the internet was some dark and mysterious thing, that little speech might have meant something. But it's 2011 now. You can find pirated videos on YouTube, Google Earth put those shady satellite photo sites out of business, and hacking anything over the internet is not even remotely an impressive feat. Christ, even doing shit "because we can" is goddamn old! What is this, 2007?

If you're going to hack anything, hack breast cancer. There's something that needs to be inconvenienced slightly over the internet.


Friday, June 10, 2011

IGN'S Previews Duke Nukem Forever Review

...No. Never again. I'm through point out how stupid this crap is.

(Edit: After actually, y'know, reading this half-finished review, I was really surprised. I was expecting them to go all Alan Wake on my ass and squeeze out a golden pile of bullshit, but they really aren't sugarcoating things just because it's a popular franchise or because it's famous (for a terrible reason, but still, people keep proving they really are that stupid). Go, IGN. Sorta.)

On a related note, my God, Duke Nukem Forever looks amazingly boring. How do you cock up Duke Nukem? You make it like every other modern FPS, fill it with lines that were badass and edgy in the 1990s, and force the player to stand there while professional voice actors read your dumbass Duke Nukem fanfic.

...And then there's that asshole on throne...whose picture you gotta take to move on...at the beginning of the game, and...and...JESUS FUCKING-

My hands are shaking. I need my Pony fix, man! Just some Fluttershy to mellow me out! I NEED TO FUCKING MELLOW OUT SO GODDAMN MUCH RIGHT NOW!


Thursday, June 9, 2011


I am honestly surprised by South Park these last few episodes. After years of being too topical (or too late to be too topical), characters either dropping out of sight or being derailed, and so much fucking Cartman (to the point where he appeared in a commercial where he was not only in a scene he wasn't in, but also had very little screentime in the episode) it was nice to see all this old South Park stuff return. And to top it all off, they even talked about why Stan's dad was a huge buffoon who got so much screentime for a while there! But as much as I love this return to the old, pre-way-the-fuck-too-popular-for-its-own-good days and acknowledging Randy acting like a major jackass, there was something in that episode that was more important than all of that.

Lots and lots of poop. Cynicism.

My God, there's a metric fuckton of cynicism out there. It helped me spawn a 26 page thread, which is 98% me bitching about how shit everything is. Seeing all that poop everywhere was awesome Stan complain about how everything was shit hit pretty close to home for me. And it got me thinking about how much being an asshole who complains about everything is so incredibly prevelent. So much so that you've got places like TV Tropes and the Elder Scroll/Fallout Nexus going to the other, equally obnoxious extreme. I want to complain about this, but I'm too aware of the irony of doing that to actually do it!

But then, you see, I realized something. You see, there is treatment. There is a way to fight this. There is hope for ours souls.

Poop is funny.


Thursday, June 2, 2011

Life's Beautiful Little Miracles

Some days, you might stuck in traffic and it's raining, but then the rain clears up and you'll see a double rainbow. And other days, you'll hear about the Ku Klux Klan protesting the Westboro Church at Arlington Cemetary.

And you can't help but smile and feel like everything's gonna be alright.


Children Don't Really Need Orgasms

Hey, look what I just found shortly after mentioning that Nexus admin defending a sexualized children mod?

Nice one, God!



No, no! Not that one! Good lord, not that one! He's cool! He's bros with Jesus! No, I mean the Fallout Nexus' Buddah, who's somehow an even worse and more fucked up administrator since TV Tropes' Fast Eddie. Not only does this asshole outright defend what is basically a softcore kiddie porn mod from legitimate criticism moral outrage (ain't linkin' that), there's this shit:


Here's what the modder seriously said:

"NOTE: You need to read this if you want to comment on my mod! If you don't pay attention and go by what I am saying, you won't be happy. I DO NOT tolerate any harsh criticism AT ALL. If you've got something mean to say, either keep it to yourself or alter the words to make it nice and include a smiley face or something... My previous experience of having people ridicule my mod was unpleasant and if it happens again, you won't have a happy life on the Nexus... I can guarantee..."

He's a little punk-ass motherfucker and he richly deserves to get his shit fucked up. Any other site would have the good sense to kick this little shit out.

And then here's what the ironically named "Buddah" said:

"Seems you want to dictate the terms of commenting on your mod, well I will do my best to keep the trolls at bay."


And then he locked the comments, even though the people who calling out this little shit were being pretty polite about it.

Y'know what? Someone should make a quick, simple mod...then act like a egotistical punk who's just asking for the internet hate machine to kick his ass! And to every person who calls you out on that shit, PM them at tell them the truth: That you're doing this to make Buddah look like the goddamn fool that he is. And I was going to say spring the truth on the fuckhead when he defends someone who should be banned for being an asshole, but I got an even better idea: Do the same thing again. And again and again. In fact, flood the goddamn place with a bunch of puppet accounts and have them all upload shitty little mods where you act like a massive fucking manchild to get Buddah to defend you from people who are justifiably outraged and make him look stupid.

Y'know, trolling!