I Signed Up For Facebook

:(

-Tabris

The Father of AIDS

From FrankenBleach Incarnate, editted so very slightly:

Kenpachi's dad makes a good point.

-Tabris

My Thoughts on Slave Maker 3

Seriously. Lesbian sex slave trainer. Super seriously.

Linkage: http://www.otakubell.com/smw/index.php/Main_Page

-Tabris

NPR President Forced to Resign For Calling Tea Party Racist (WHICH THEY TOTALLY FUCKING ARE!)

Holy shit, internet, you read my mind!

-Tabris

Hack Group Declares Cyberwar Against US Government

Oh fucking Christ, please don't be "Anonymous", please don't be- GODDAMN SON OF A FUCKING WHORY BITCH! Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit! Your ignorance of internet culture- shit that your punk-ass 15 year old son can tell you about- makes me vomit and cry with unfathomable rage! Vomit and cry!

“It’s a guerilla cyberwar — that’s what I call it,” said Barrett Brown, 29, who calls himself a senior strategist and “propagandist” for Anonymous.

Bullshit! You are the senior bullshitter for The Country Bear Bullshit Jamboree, you fucking prick! Rolling with Fox News' criticial research failure was annoying enough, but that was years ago. Time to grow the fuck up and get a life, or fuck with Google! These assholes own half the internet! I can't sign into this very blog and YouTube with two different account, despite the fact that these two websites are not related! Instead of going to federal prison because you thought one of the world's greatest goddamn nuclear superpowers was like a fat kid whining on YouTube videos, how 'bout you quit playing make believe and help free your true homeland: The internet.

Please. I implore you think about this.

-Tabris

Encyclopedia Dramatica: Let's Bring Up This Shit Yet Again

Now, I was over this topic. The current kick I'm on is steampunk. Anyway, I decided to drop by this blog to see if there was anything new. I skimmed over older posts, and holy fucking shit, Encyclopedia Dramatica is way the fuck worse than some sea captain descending a website into despotism!

Not to obsess over this or anything, but apparently, Encyclopedia Dramatica and the tools that run it:

-Was formerly run by a drunken retard who blew his brains out because the internet told him to.
-Will give you advise on committing what one could consider cyber terrorism because posting dirt on people is terrific when it's not them.
-Are dirty goddamn lying sons of bitches who will absolutely censor themselves.
-Will DMCA your ass if you dare post their shit. Yeah, despite the fact that their imaginary scapegoat formerly used pictures stolen from some random guy and, like I've mentioned before, they're post your personal info if you DMCA them. (edit: And they'll use blatantly false information when writing out a DMCA form...which I'm kinda sure is goddamn illegal. I refuse to believe Kalamazoo is a real town, or if it is, it's name is real and not part of an elaborate joke to bring in tourists.)
-Have no sense of irony, much like Mr. Krabs.

...Goddamn. I know I'm just going off of blind faith here, taking the word of an internet stranger, but try looking up "nigger", "jew", or "offended". "Jew" and "offended" are now ultra-PC. Yeah, I get it, after years of being offensive...yeah. Funny. But "nigger" (and "aboriginal") have been removed completely...no, wait.

Oh! Oh, I see what you did there! You deleted all the offensive crap, appearing to cave in to pressure, then make something offensive! That's so satirical! Hahahaha...hahaha...ha...eh...

sat·ire   /ˈsætaɪər/
[sat-ahyuhr]

–noun
1. the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.
2. a literary composition, in verse or prose, in which human folly and vice are held up to scorn, derision, or ridicule.
3. a literary genre comprising such compositions. 3. a literary genre comprising such compositions.
4. Acting like a emotionally crippled dickhead with no social skills and making excuses for it. Also see "Autistic", "Freudian Excuse".

-Tabris

How Has No One Thought of This Yet?

-Tabris

Nazifpour is an Incredibly Pretentious Cock

I mean, look at this:

http://www.gamefaqs.com/features/top10/2253.html

Yeah, Spore dealt with some important religious issues, huh? Like THAT'S COMPLETE FUCKING BULLSHIT! And that's one of the less spit-take inducing things this asshole's written. Take a look at his other lists:

The Top 10 Games Which Deal With Important Moral Issues
The Top 10 Games Which Deal With Important Philosophical Issues
The Top 10 Games Which Deal With Important Political Issues
The Top 10 Games Which Deal With Important Psychological Issues
The Top 10 Games Which Deal With Important Social Issues

Guess how many of those have wannabe intellectual bullshit shoehorned in where it doesn't belong? All of them, you say? DING DING DING! Give the man a cupie doll! And did you also say that the #1 spot has "The X Game" in it? Oh snap! Welcome to the bonus round, mo-fo!

Deal lord, dare we actually take a look at some of these?

"Oni- Forgiveness"

How this deals important moral issues: If you choose not to kill someone, they'll show up Deus ex Machina and shit to help you with the last boss.

By the way, Konoko sure as shit does not "forgive" Griffin. She walks away, pissed off as fucking hell, and aside from the last boss, it doesn't effect the story at all. Did this dipshit actually play the game?

"Mirror's Edge- Peaceful resistance"

How this deals with important political issues: Running around is the same as picket- Wait a goddamn minute, can't you steal guns and punch dudes in the junk?! Double bullshit!

"Fallout 2- LGBT rights"

How this deals with important social issues: You could marry a hillbilly of the same sex or sleep with other women as a female character. Are you fucking kidding me? How...why...

I'd point out more examples of complete bullshit, but fuck this shit. Fuck it now and forever.

-Tabris

Anonymous Is Still Not An Actual Group

Years ago, I screamed this shit at the top of my lungs: That there is no "Anonymous". It was shitty scaremongering reporting by dumbfucks who didn't do any goddamn fact checking. See, in case you're a dumb motherfuck, "Anonymous" is your name when you post a comment somewhere where you don't need to register, like this very blog. Go ahead, try it out. See that? Now you're an internet terrorist and shit. Like, fight the power or something.

That was years ago. Guess why I'm pulling my fucking hair out.

S'yeah, "Anonymous" is back in the news. That's like watching the news and seeing over 9,000 Rickrolls, desu. It's old, it's tired, it's a big pile of goddamn nonsense. And here we are again, years later, with Stephen Colbert talking about it! Guess I can't blame him, though, since all his guests are boring, nothing ever changes, and he likes centaur shotas.

(In case you give in to morbid curiosity like I just did, that's centaurs that are shotas. Not shota-on-centaur. No, no wacky picture this time.)

And there's something else, but what is it? Oh yeah, everyone who ever jumped on the "Anonymous" bandwagon is a sheep. When you do what everyone else is doing, you're a conformist and your alignment cannot be chaotic, no matter what you claim.

You know what all these people who have automated password guessing programs hacker guys should do? Claim they're a part of a group whose name people are too cowardly to say on TV. Like, "The Cocky Shitfuckers" or something. They could hack sites and replace all the text with nothing but swear words.

That would amuse me for several minutes. Then I'd go start a Twitter feud with Daniel Tosh, because he's an obnoxious douchebag who only has work because he's showing YouTube videos on TV.

Christ, I hate him.

-Tabris