Thursday, April 7, 2011

Satanic Gay Caveman: A Lightning Rod For Dumbasses

...Well, after looking at this picture, that seemed like the logical title:

By the way, you can tell it's a gay (or, they seriously said this, transgender) caveman because he was buried with girl caveman shit. That's seriously their theory. No, The Onion had nothing to do with this. Some asshole took a look this caveman buried with stuff usually found buried with cavewomen, and they seriously just went "Must be gay or transgender! After all, all gay guys are basically women and there was totally such a thing as crossdressing in caveman days! DERPITY DOO!".

Oh lord, you do not seriously want to see what people are saying about this...oh, yes, you do:

"I totally thought this was an Onion article and wasn't even going to read it..."

As did we all.

"archeology, the most unscientific science"

Oh snap! This must be from that guy who made XKCD, WHO'S TOTALLY FUCKING RACIST!

"Science: closing minds permanently since 1864."

...What? 1864? Was that when science was invented? Was everything leading up it magic before?

"Yes, now stop using your computer as it obviously does not work. In reality you are staring into the abyss with your eyes wide open, your fingers are moving around aimlessly on a cloud minute water droplets. Nothing is real, it is all in your mind."

Hey, a breath of fresh not stupid! Take it in, because now thing really get retarded.

"Don't you mean, "Science: Bitch-slapping religious Dogma since, like, FOREVER?"

And before you get religious-righty on us, just remember it was the Vatican who imprisoned Galileo and Copernicus for PROVING the earth was round, and NOT the center of the universe.

Granted, the Vatican did apologize for their actions... in f**king 1985."

Yeah, because the current human understanding of the world can explain everything always and for- Oh wait, scientists have just learned that eggs really are bad for you. Also, all religious people are conservative extremists and...the Vatican? What? Well, that can't possibly lead to a big rambling clusterfuck of nonsense by that same person who thinks science is closed minded (well, I guess it is if you're this idiot, apparently):

"Don't pitch anti-Vatican dogma at me as if I were obligated to defend it. The Bible said that the earth is round (Is 40:22). You could have been using technological advances to update your understanding of what a God *could* be. You could have used the benefit of the internet's power to connect to people and sources to the end of researching these words that ancient peoples believed were important enough to translate and copy by hand for centuries. You could have made sure your opinions were based on reliable and honest translations but popular atheism has, instead, established itself on the basis of the innumerable (and quite dated) lies and errors of the catholic church as if they had the theism market cornered.

That army of child molesters is the most corrupt, deceptive and least beneficial of any organization in the history of man (at least until the advent of the US MilitAry indusTRIal compleX). The only things they weren't wrong about were they things they willfully lied about. Don't come to me with what the Vatican said because to do thus relegates your position to the status of "straw man".

Finally, science is not the opposite of religion. By attempting to use bones and math to explain the origin of the universe and man's purpose therein, science has stepped into the context of religiosity and has thus become a religion. It's big selling point (and all religions have one) is that the adherent gets to also be the deity.

Your creation myth is more ridiculous than any other because you insist that the only possible explanation for *everything* is *nothing*. And, what's worse, you backed yourself into a corner attempting to "prove" it with a one-sided story that amounts to nothing more than wishful thinking. You're no better than any religious person--you're not even different. What you are is immoral, misguided and exceedingly dangerous to the planet and everything on it."

...Wait, what? And wait a minute, did he hide the word "MATRIX" in "industrial military complex"?

Okay, I'm walking away now.


1 comment:

  1. Satanic Gay Cavemen. That's a cool name for a band :P.