The Son of Earpennies McDogfartcar

Okay, finally, I'm out of things to gripe about, so back to silly nonsense! Hey, let's write a fanfic about all the fat characters from Disney movies and cartoons fucking each other! That's much more in the spirit of what this blog should be about! But first, let's take a look at the com- SON OF A BITCH!

We've been through this already. You're harassing a nobody on a blog no one's ever heard of, and you're devoting too much time to it. I mean, my God, how obsessed do you have to be with this trivial piece of crap I've created to make this much of a nuisance out of yourself? Seriously?

You know what? No. You, my new minor annoyance, are no Earpennies McDogfartcar. You're just some loser in his late teens-early 20s who doesn't have a life, so he has ample time to obsess of this little nothing place. Earpennies McDogfartcar was an obnoxious loser, but he was an obnoxious loser who was also a complete freakin' weirdo. See, lemme tell you about Earpennies McDogfartcar: He was a stupid asshole with no friends, his family hated him, Mrs. Buttersworth was his imaginary wife, he lived in a dumpster, he ate garbage, he slept in a bed of his own feces, he drove a pretend car made of dog farts, he sucked his own dick, he died of breast cancer, and they threw his dead body into the sewer. He was a walking abortion who always had pennies in his goddamn ears and peace came to the Middle East when he died. And he was a better man than you.


Pictured: Someone who's better than you.

You're nothing, kid. A nobody. You're...you're...THE SON OF EARPENNIES MCDOGFARTCAR!

Oh, and by the way, I'm just gonna delete your shit without warning now. Not everyone gets sympathy, sport.

-Tabris