Saturday, April 16, 2011

The Son of Earpennies McDogfartcar

Okay, finally, I'm out of things to gripe about, so back to silly nonsense! Hey, let's write a fanfic about all the fat characters from Disney movies and cartoons fucking each other! That's much more in the spirit of what this blog should be about! But first, let's take a look at the com- SON OF A BITCH!

We've been through this already. You're harassing a nobody on a blog no one's ever heard of, and you're devoting too much time to it. I mean, my God, how obsessed do you have to be with this trivial piece of crap I've created to make this much of a nuisance out of yourself? Seriously?

You know what? No. You, my new minor annoyance, are no Earpennies McDogfartcar. You're just some loser in his late teens-early 20s who doesn't have a life, so he has ample time to obsess of this little nothing place. Earpennies McDogfartcar was an obnoxious loser, but he was an obnoxious loser who was also a complete freakin' weirdo. See, lemme tell you about Earpennies McDogfartcar: He was a stupid asshole with no friends, his family hated him, Mrs. Buttersworth was his imaginary wife, he lived in a dumpster, he ate garbage, he slept in a bed of his own feces, he drove a pretend car made of dog farts, he sucked his own dick, he died of breast cancer, and they threw his dead body into the sewer. He was a walking abortion who always had pennies in his goddamn ears and peace came to the Middle East when he died. And he was a better man than you.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic
Pictured: Someone who's better than you.

You're nothing, kid. A nobody. You're...you're...THE SON OF EARPENNIES MCDOGFARTCAR!

Oh, and by the way, I'm just gonna delete your shit without warning now. Not everyone gets sympathy, sport.

-Tabris

6 comments:

  1. Fiddle-dee-dee! Fiddle-dee-dee! You think you're such a big man, with your swears and your human emotions and your free blog anyone who can create an email account can get! Once I learn to suck my own dick and drive a dog fart car, you'll rue the day! YOU'LL RUE THE DAY!

    ReplyDelete
  2. ...Is it really going to be like that? Because I know the magic words that can banish your people back to their home dimension!

    FIDDLE-DEE-DOO! FIDDLE-DEE-DOO! GO FUCK OFF TO KALAMAZOO!

    -Tabris

    ReplyDelete
  3. Curses! My only weakness, other than the fact that you can delete comments and mark them as spam!

    I'll show you, Mr. Emotional Pottymouth! You haven't heard the last of Pissybitch McWienerbutt!

    ReplyDelete
  4. indeed all this slander tabris macbeth

    but there is nothing funny in your slandering

    nor any true benefit

    why can't you just respect me like other people?
    what did i ever do to you?

    ReplyDelete
  5. ...Wait, what? What is this, I don't even-

    ...My God...Earpennies? Is that you? *eyes get watery* You've...you've been gone for so long...I... *wipes eyes* YOU'RE A WEIRD LITTLE MAN AND FULL OF AIDS!

    -Tabris

    ReplyDelete